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Distracted..

Assalammualaikum and Ola..

really distracted this morning.. i feel something was not right, so i tried called my mom several times end up with voice mail.. when my mum return my call, get distracted news.. no, i had bad news last week, and im try so hard not to cry.. if i cry, my mum will cry too.. dont you think so? no, im not heartless like others.. hahaha..

anyway, this news really distracted.. after like years never spoken about them, they finally, finally datang balik to our family? the only statement come from my mouth is "for what? must got catch ha" i dont know what i feel now.. what emotion should i show.. angry?! frustrated?! annoying?! touched?! definitely not touched.. *oh please, dont start the controversy in your blog about my entry, fed up already about you ok?*

inhale, closed eyes, all the pasts will walk away with exhale.. naa, never happened like that meh.. anyway, if those related did read my blog, i emphasize ONLY RELATED: yes, thank you for your "call and concern", yes, we especially my parents or perhaps my entire family had forgive you guys for that treats, for every pain you cause us.. no, it doesnt change anything.. the damage is done..

life is like a cycle.. one time you at the top, one time you will be at the bottom.. thats why Allah said be nice to people all time no matter what they do or think about you because what comes around goes around.. every single action you did, either hurting people's feeling or not, somehow you will get back..

scribble note: im distracted and i forgot to buy acuan for my creme brulee.. thankz!

40 Lessons for Finding Strength in Hard Times Part 2

Assalammualaikum and Ola readers!!

its saturday!! yes, im not going anywhere this weekend.. hahaha.. my second brother went to Port Dickson for 3 days and 2 night to support the Family Day, organized by his Department.. wonderful isnt? my along went to Ipoh, Perak with his family.. bonding family time ha?

anyway, lets continue another 20 lessons.. lets share!!

21. Consciously nurture your inner hope. – A loss, a worry, an illness, a dream crushed – no matter how deep your hurt or how high your aspirations, do yourself a favor and pause at least once a day, place your hands over your heart and say aloud, “Hope lives here.”
22. It’s better to be hurt by the truth, than comforted by a lie. – You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be. It’s always better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie.
23. It’s hard to tell exactly how close you are to success. – Connecting the dots going forward is nearly impossible, but when you look backward it always makes perfect sense. Success is often closer than it seems, and arrives suddenly, when you least expect it.
24. Not getting what you want can be a blessing. – Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you reevaluate things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked.
25. Laughter is the best medicine for stress. – Laugh at yourself often. Find the humor in whatever situation you’re in. Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
26. Mistakes are important to make. – We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve. But if you think about it, we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices, and even though there are some things we can never recover and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time. We now have more power to shape our future. Remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Get back up! Oftentimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
27. Worrying is literally a waste of energy. – Worry will not drain tomorrow of its troubles, it will drain you of your strength today.
28. Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward. – Especially in trying times, it’s important to continuously push yourself forward. Because momentum is everything! As long as you keep the momentum positive – even if you’re moving at a snail’s pace – you’ll eventually get to the finish line. So celebrate every step you take today, no matter how small. Because every step will lead you farther away from where you were yesterday and closer to where you want to be tomorrow. Be it a better life or a dream we long to realize, we reach our destinations by taking many, many small steps in the same direction, one at a time.
29. There will always be people who dislike you. – You can’t be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What others think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
30. You are better off without some people you thought you needed. – The sad truth is, there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great friends you can always count on.
31. You are ONLY competing against yourself. – When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop! Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess. Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.
32. You can’t control everything that happens to you. – But you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. For instance: Did you catch a head cold? At least it’s only a temporary virus and nothing life-threatening. Did you lose a basketball game? Thankfully you got to spend the afternoon with friends doing something fun and healthy. Did your stock market savings go down? It’ll bounce back in the long-term. And besides, it’s great that you’ve been diligent and fortunate enough to save a nest egg of savings when many people are barely making ends meet. You get the idea.
33. Life is NOT easy. – If you expect it to be, you will perpetually disappoint yourself. Achieving anything worthwhile in life takes effort. So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before. Above all, make sure you properly align your efforts with your goals. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
34. Your future is spotless. – Regardless of how filthy your past has been, your future is still spotless. Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Don’t look back unless it’s a good view. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life. One of the very best ways to get beyond past troubles is to concentrate all of your attention and effort on doing something that your future self will thank you for.
35. You are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things. – We all have doubts that make us feel trapped at times. If you doubt your ability to make a life-altering decision, to take on a new chapter in your life, or to fend for yourself after years of being overly-fostered, consider this: Surely if a bird with healthy wings is locked in a cage long enough, she will doubt her own ability to fly. You still have your wings, but your muscles are weak. Train them and stretch them slowly. Give yourself time. You’ll be flying again soon.
36. Everything in life is two-sided. – There is good reason why we can’t expect to feel pleasure without ever feeling pain; joy without ever feeling sorrow; confident without ever feeling fear; calm without ever feeling restless; hope without ever feeling despair: There is no such thing as a one-sided coin in life, with which one can buy a pain-free, trouble-free existence.
37. You always have a choice. – No matter what, there are always at least two options. If you can’t physically change something, you can change the way you think about it. You can sit in the dark, or you can find your inner light and discover powerful pieces of yourself you never knew existed. You can view a crisis as an invitation to learn something new, viewing the shake-up in your outer world as an enlightening opportunity to wake-up your inner world.
38. Let others in when you’re in a dark place. – No, they won’t always be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.
39. If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers. – There are no positive answers to, “Why me?” “Why didn’t I?” “What if?” etc. Would you allow someone else to ask you the demoralizing questions you sometimes ask yourself? I doubt it. So stop and swap them for questions that push you in a positive direction. For instance, “What have I learned from this experience?” “What do I have control over?” “What can I do right now to move forward?”
40. The end is a new beginning. – Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me. Dear Future, I am ready now!” Because a great beginning always occurs at the point you thought would be the end of everything.

full credited to Marcandangel

wala!! thats the 20 lessons for today..

till then..
thankz for reading..

hand note: my widget box is not free start 2012.. it will empty until im upgrading it.. well, better removed then..

Cook time!!

Assalamualaikum and Ola readers!!

its been awhile for my last entry about food and cook.. i did traveling a lot and eat a lot as well.. had delicious scrumptious food but since i dont have any Canon, DSLR camera type, im soo relunctant to snap the pics.. *ooh alasan semata2*

anyway, im a bit lazy lately.. perhaps regain my energy by watching tv, sleep and eat, the same routine over and over again before entering my industrial attachment.. *so many excuses!!* but im hungry.. so i had to cook right?! i cant buy food everyday.. der, mau kopak poket gitu.. yes2 im staying at my family's house, but my parents not staying with me.. they stay at Kuantan.. *thats one reason im went to kuantan almost weekend.. :)*

so yeah, today the menu western style.. spaghetti bolognese with meatball.. 2 in 1.. you cant get it even at Secret Recipe, either meatball or bolognese.. hahaha..

here's the pictures-->

im Prego fan.. got few brands bu i still choose prego..
bough at giant 3packs worth rm11.99.. wat stok meh..


the bad thing is there is no opener available..
kena bukak guna opener can right?
but typical me, i dont know how to do it..
usually my brothers will open for me..
the solution and my savior?
a knife and Budu!! wahaha.. its dangerous, dont do it ok!!

my meatball and the spaghtti..
my brother request for meatball like secret recipe..
instead of buying the ready made, i bought the minced beed and made my own..
advantages?
i can make as big as i can or as small as i want, and i can add oregano and balck pepper..
so you can smell the spice and herbs with beef..
and i also add some vegetables like daun kucai..
okay i know its weird, but hey it turn up nice with the daun kucai's smell..
and thats what we called home made meatball..
you can add whatever you want..

the meatball preparation.. i forgot my daun kucai..
so only oregano and black pepper..

the sauce.. i prefer the can rather that the bottle..
using an, i can estimate how much sauce required for per person..
yes, bottle more saving in terms you can use twice, kept in fridge..
but you can taste different texture from the first time you open it..
no, no harm for that.. it just me who too concern about it.. :)

you can check the sauce's concentration..
too concentrated, not nice to eat,
to dilute, also not nice..

the oregano and black pepper as well, yes, even in the sauce..

the end result!!
my spaghetti a bit over cooked.. my bad

thats today's menu.. but i still want to share my dinner meal.. very light.. im usually have my breakfast with wholemeal or cereal and my lunch will be pretty heavy.. rice.. perut orang melayu meh.. but dinner time, i usually had light meal like paratha, or capati or bihun sup.. stuff like that..

since im in love with capati rendang Hot N Rollz, i usually spend my rm3.90 for it.. but i think its more worth if i do it myself.. so i bought paratha frozen food, i try search capati one, dont have and made my own..

except no cheese, which i dont like..
when called home made, everything extra!!
extra sausage for myself!!

wonder if i can make my own ice cream..

next mission is to do creme brulee.. gosh been years my last encounter with that dessert.. :)

till then..
thankz for reading.. :)

40 Lessons for Finding Strength in Hard Times Part 1

Assalammualaikum and Hola readers!!

im scan through my MSU Pharmacy Group FB just now, realize that my lecturer did post an article.. since i got nothing to do, *despite a pan of spaghetti sauce in the kitchen* i read through the article.. its good.. reflect myself, how im coping my problems.. *in order to satisfy other people?* i believe its happened to you guys too..

its pretty long.. please make sure you are not in sleepy mode.. ngeh3.. lets share!! :)

40 Lessons for Finding Strength in Hard Times

Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness. These experiences were brutal. Each of them, naturally, knocked us down and off course for a period of time. But when our time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life.
Here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way:

1. You are not what happened to you in the past. – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment
2. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. – You are who you are and you have what you have, right now. And it can’t be that bad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this. The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward. Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it. You may feel like you don’t have much, or anything at all, but you have your mind to inspire you. And that’s really all you need to start moving forward again.
3. Struggling with problems is a natural part of growing. – Part of living and growing up is experiencing unexpected troubles in life. People lose jobs, get sick, and sometimes die in car accidents. When you are younger, and things are going pretty well, this harsh reality can be hard to visualize. The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be tempered in our reactions. To want to scream obscenities, but to wiser and more disciplined than that. To remember that emotional rage only makes matters worse. And to remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.
4. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. – You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again. And a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy. Sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems.
5. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. – There may not be a tomorrow – not for everyone. Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today. This is sad but true. So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it. Every moment you get is a gift. Don’t waste time by dwelling on unhappy things. Spend it on things that move you in the direction you want to go.
6. You will fail sometimes. – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. So get out there and try! Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson. Win – Win.
7. You have the capacity to create your own happiness. – Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling. You can hold onto past mistakes or you can create your own happiness. A smile is a choice, not a miracle. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy. True happiness comes from within.
8. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems. – You are far greater than your problems. You are a living, breathing human being who is infinitely more complex than all of your individual problems added up together. And that means you’re more powerful than them – you have the ability to change them, and to change the way you feel about them.
9. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is. – You should never let one dark cloud cover the entire sky. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
10. Everything that happens is a life lesson. – Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc. They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’ Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way. If you don’t get a job that you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.
11. View every challenge as an educational assignment. – Ask yourself: “What is this situation meant to teach me?” Every situation in our lives has a lesson to teach us. Some of these lessons include: To become stronger. To communicate more clearly. To trust your instincts. To express your love. To forgive. To know when to let go. To try something new.
12. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day. – The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent.
13. Giving up and moving on are two very different things. – There comes a point when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up, and it’s not the end. It’s a new beginning. It’s realizing, finally, that you don’t need certain people and things and the drama they bring.
14. Distance yourself from negative people. – Every time you subtract negative from your life you make room for more positive. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Let go of negative people, for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self esteem. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
15. Perfect relationships don’t exist. – There’s no such thing as a perfect, ideal relationship. It’s how two people deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal.
16. You must love yourself too. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?
17. Don’t let others make decisions for you. – Sometimes you just have to live not caring what they think of you, shake off the drama, and prove to YOURSELF that you’re better than they think you are.
18. Resentment hurts you, not them. – Always forgive people and move on, even if they never ask for your forgiveness. Don’t do it for them – do it for you. Grudges are a waste of happiness. Get that unnecessary stress out of your life right now.
19. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems. – To lose sleep worrying about a friend. To have trouble picking yourself up after someone lets you down. To feel like less because someone didn’t love you enough to stay. To be afraid to try something new for fear you’ll fail. None of this means you’re dysfunctional or crazy. It just means you’re human, and that you need a little time to right yourself. You are not alone. No matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie.
20. You still have a lot to be thankful for. – Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of brave people who are overcoming it. Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

full credited to Marcandangel
wala.. thats the 20 lessons for today.. will continued other 20 tomorrow.. stay tuned..

till then..
thankz for reading..

hand note: i think i want do some changes in my blog.. baby steps..

A hunch.. and im right...

Assalamualaikum and Good day readers..

already 4 days of 2012.. i wish i can do the 2011 wrap and 2012 resolution.. but i think we can skip that.. :P Happy New Year!!

when i was young girl, there was a situation when my mum starts crying or mumbling about "feeling not good" or complained her eyes literally watery or something like that *dont know how to explain* for 2 to 3 days, later on the bad news came and most of the time regarding on our family member and close relative or friends.. when im being away studied at Penang, my mum called me at the right time of my depression time.. mother's hunch dont you think?

the latest, she complaint with watery eyes and not feeling good mode despite we were actually on the way back to kampung.. no sooner, we been told that our closed uncle had passed away peacefully due to sudden heart attack.. its really breaking heart for me.. its been awhile after i lost my grandfather who adores me since im only his granddaughter.. my mum's reaction? she know the bad thing will happened, and she ready for it.. but Allah give a fragile heart for each of his creation.. my mum cried since late uncle was the closest uncle we had..

ALLAh create human kind with lots of gift.. a hunch is part of it.. whether he or she realize it.. i do sometime feels not right, something is wrong and turn up, i was right.. it turn up nasty.. if readers noticed few of entries regarding hos lazy i am to study and prepared for quiz or presentation, etc, it turn up the quiz been canceled, presentation been postpone, etc.. or perhaps when i feel something will happened, it turn up we got pop quiz!! its hunch or what? well, i think it is a hunch!! hahaha..

another example, early 2010 was the most crushing, breaking my heart.. i felt it.. i know something was wrong.. i feel the sparkle almost gone yet i cant say anything since i had no prove.. but HE planned nicely.. i find out and counter back the problem.. yes, with tears as love begins with love, hold with tears and joy and end up with tears.. of course with choices and decision to be made..

today? i felt the same thing.. its really not nice.. and i pray hard.. and what, it turn up 40% bad? part of myself, im happy for the news, another part, it almost killed me to accept it.. guess what, we cant get what we want or what we feel.. but im ok, i always do and will.. the point here is that i feel omthing wrong and yup, im right! gosh, it really hard..

till then..
thankz for reading..

foot note: seriously, this is only what i feel.. its not about you have to believe you hunch or whatever.. please dont start controversy at my blog or your blog about this entry..

2nd foot note: i successfully send my soft copy of CP1 report!! thankz!